explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
