I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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