i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
