Redeem this text for a blowjob
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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