My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
