haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize