It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My orgasm happened in two different decades
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
