Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
