My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
