ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
