i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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