i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize