What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wanna passion pit in your ass
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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