Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
