YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
