How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
