i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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