my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
