I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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