is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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