At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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