True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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