it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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