Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it hurts more in the daytime
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
