Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
