I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize