you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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