also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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