My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize