I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
