my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize