I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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