I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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