please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
