Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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