it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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