It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
