I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
