Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
