You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
