wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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