this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
