So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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