Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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