so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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