her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
