the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!