how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...