I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
