do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
