I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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