So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize