please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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