i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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