hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize