thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize