dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
